FYE

Challenges

I don’t really enjoy talking about the things that challenge me. Its not the same as complaining. When I face a challenge I have to admit to my own struggle, and that isn’t very fun. But since this is a homework assignment, I get to have an excuse to throw a little pity party, with a little added push toward getting past those road blocks.

So two of the challenging categories are those of academic and artistic problems. For me, the two go hand in hand. How do I manage my work so I can turn everything in on time with good quality? How can I improve if I’m not doing well enough? For me, my main struggle is pushing myself creatively and getting out of my comfort zone. In some ways I’ve already been pushing myself to go further than the minimum with my work, but I really want to look at the ways I could be experimenting more. I find that I find something I like, I get comfortable with it, and then I stick with it and don’t venture much further away from it. I want to feel better about trying new things even if they are risky and might fail. I’m a perfectionist. I don’t like trying new things unless I’m confident that I can be successful. I really want to break away from that. As of right now I’m getting pretty good grades, but I want my artistic struggle to help me improve academically and vice versa.

Some personal things I’ve been struggling with include balance of my social life with my academic responsibilities and “me-time.” In the first few weeks I would have said my main problem was struggling to find friends. Now I have to say a bigger problem is telling my friends no. No, I can’t hang out tonight. No, you can’t stay that late. No, I need some time for myself. Even if I need time with my friends I also need time away, or time to work. It’s hard to manage my time when I want to spend my time getting to know my new friends. It takes away time from working on projects or doing my laundry. It takes time from self-care, which is incredibly important to me. I like to work hard, but that also means My energy and motivation is a day-to-day affair. If I don’t take care of myself every day it gets harder to keep working hard. Once I stop working I become discouraged with myself. The three pillars of my life including relationships, work, and self care all depend on each other for me to function at my best. If one falls, so do the other two.

I suppose dealing with these problems is just a matter of exercising a great deal of self control. I’ve got self control. Most the time. I’m sure I’ll survive like everyone else. (Insert thumbs up emoji here)

 

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